Friday, April 01, 2005

Holy Aunt Jemima!

It was a nice sunny day so SHE and HE took me for a walk in the woods. None of us realized what grave danger we were in! When we returned home there was a story on the news about exploding maple trees. No kidding, hey! It goes like this:
Maple trees that once got tapped
No longer so, get over-sapped
The pressure builds with great foreboding
And then the tree ends up exploding.
This is really true! These old maples get so used to producing extra sap because they've been tapped for generations, that they just keep on producing whether they get tapped or not. And do you know why they're not??? It goes like this:
There's always some new diet fad
Now, the latest - carbs are bad
And maple syrup, if you try it
Has carbs that will just wreck your diet.
Right, the low-carb craze has depressed the demand for maple syrup, so the trees aren't getting tapped any more. And they're exploding, all over Vermont. It's really dangerous out in the woods, and the population of Vermont has suffered a loss because of this new phenomenon. They're warning folks to be careful. Really! They said it on the radio. It went like this:
If you live in the Green Mountain State
Leave the woods before its too late!
Ignore your car's dilapidation
Leave now, or risk decapitation!

So, I thank my lucky tennis ball that we all got home safe. We're going to open a refugee camp for Vermonters who will be emerging from the forests in droves in their vintage autos. And you may ask "But what can I do? I'm only one person." I say ...

Eat more pancakes!!!


P.S. Don't forget to watch the Iditarod!!!


At 8:57 PM, Blogger motor20 said...

I had pancakes this morning....
But I had synthetic Japanese syrup...Does that make me a bad person????

At 9:46 PM, Blogger Willie the Wonder Dog said...

Not at all, motor. I actually like the fake stuff better myself, but I can't say that out loud where I live.

At 8:26 AM, Anonymous oldcpa said...

Willie - Love the spring stories. I'm wondering why the Irish Setter hasn't blogged in yet on your comments.
Can you haiku??

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Hey Willie, you may already be in on the joke but the exploding maple trees radio story on NPR was a hoax. It totally fooled me too. Story Also, it looks like some sneaky fake "ad-bot" has posted some links above this comment (about joints and stuff!) You might want to remove those posts.


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